my own advice

So I decided to take a little of my own advice last night. It had been a long day and I was needing to feel attractive - my workout shorts and old tank top just weren't doing the trick. I decided to move dinner out to the deck and had Ella set the table with a pretty tablecloth and a candle. I changed into a casual summer dress, put on make-up & earrings and even a little perfume. Wow - I felt like a new woman! Finishing dinner prep no longer felt like a chore but rather a gift I was giving my husband who was yet to arrive. He came home to a candle lit dinner outside, soft jazz coming from my ipad and a wife excited to see him (this is SOOOOOO not our norm). After dinner we cleaned up and after putting the kids to bed I decided the special evening didn't have to end there. We open a bottle of wine, got an old quilt and headed back outside to simply be. Totally unplugged from life - just me, him and a bottle of wine (he later added a cigar - the tale-tell sign that he's relaxed). We sat and talked about random things. We laughed. We were silent. We listened to the crickets and soaked in the cool summer night. It was a little bit of heaven on this side. A gift of our time to each other....and so worth the effort it took to create.

young marrieds

When I think about what makes me feel alive, my most favorite things in life, the following come to mind: fresh flowers cut from outside, laughing with my man, a glass of wine over a long relaxing dinner at a little cafe, snugggling my little ones, walks early in the morning, rocking a baby, breathing fresh air, making something beautiful...and the list goes on.

The thing I love is that most of these things are things I can MAKE HAPPEN in my life. I can find time to snuggle with Mason and read him a story - with his little arms wrapped around my neck and his face as close as possible to mine :). I can wake up early to soak up the silence and breathe the fresh air as I walk. I can hire a babysitter and take my man on a date. I can be intentional about how I spend my days.

One of my favorite quotes is, "sometimes you gotta create what you wanna be apart of..." and for years my man & I have lived by this quote and found it to be SO true. Shortly after getting married we found ourselves without any friends in the same place in life as us. We complained about it for 2 long years and then we decided to do something about it. We decided to start a "life group" that we called "young marrieds" and we simply put a sign up sheet out at church with a note attached that read: "looking for young couples who are willing to commit to doing the hard work required to make their marriages flourish and who are looking for a community of friends to walk beside them".

I remember the fear in laying that sheet down and walking way - totally out of control over who would sign up. Instantly I was flooded with panic. What if someone I didn't click with at all signed up and I had to hang out with them? What if people thought we were stupid for even trying to start something like this? What if nobody signed up? This panic drove me to my knees, mainly for selfish reasons, but never the less I found myself praying, "Lord, bring the perfect couples to this group. Couples with whom we can be honest and real with. Couples who will challenge us. Couples we can laugh with. Couples who will challenge us in our faith. Couples who love you." Looking around the room at that first young marrieds meeting I had no idea that these young eager faces would be the ones I would "do life" with over the next 10+ years.

These young couples eager to talk about communication, intimacy, and in-laws (all things we had in common) quickly went from aquaintences to life-long friends. In the the years to come we were blessed to walk beside these couples through the death of parents, the births of many children (including a friend from this group being in on one of our births), miscarriages, the building of homes (literally helping put on roofs, frame basements, etc.) serious illnesses, affairs and recommittments to marriages. God took two young kids eager to "have friends" and blessed them with friendships that have spanned over 10 years now. Our young marrieds group will always serve as a reminder to me that "sometimes you gotta create what you wanna be apart of..." That looks different for all of us.

So often we wait for life to happen to us; waiting for others to make us happy - I just don't see that working...or at least in my experience it hasn't. Trust me I need to practice what I preach on most days. But I love that I have the power to control my attitude and the way I react to circumstances. I love that God gives us choices and a free will. I love that He loves to bless His children when we we ask. Are you waiting for life to happen or are you willing to be intentional with your life? It takes energy and some planning, but I really believe that beautiful moments are just waiting to be had when we put energy into creating them.

created for this

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This weekend we carved out some precious time for our family of 5 and decided to head to one of our favorite places for the day - Notre Dame University. Billy's sister April was home from Chicago for the day and brought her niece Kelissa with her, so together we had a crew of 7. Dressed in our best ND gear to cheer on the Irish we headed for the annual Blue Gold game where the team scrimmages against themselves in the football stadium. Perhaps this sounds silly to some, but for these faithful fans it meant chance to experience the excitement of game day at a fraction of the cost. A perfect fit for my little Irish fans!

I love the feeling of college campuses, it's like I can almost smell my own college memories in the air. Just stepping onto ND took me back to my college days... the rhythm of walking from class to class and the fresh air it provided me. The naps snuck in the middle of the day simply because I could. The late night coffee house dates with friends, and studying things I was passionate about. Because I attended a christian college (Bethel College) my college experience was also rich in time spent seeking the Lord and growing in my relationship with him. As we walked around ND's campus on a gorgeous spring day I had a moment of "I wanna go back" flood over me. It all seemed so carefree back then. I didn't worry about what I was going to make my family for dinner, the endless errands to run, or the mountain of laundry that was screaming my name. I focused on me in college. To this momma who always seems to put a bit too much on her to-do list that sounded so wonderful. I let myself get lost in that fantasy of hours upon hours of "me" time for a bit as we walked....then I felt a hand grab mine and it was my husbands. That boy who I fell in love with back in high school, and missed terribly during college, had reached over and laced his fingers between mine as we quietly walked with the kiddos running in front of us. And then it hit me. College was a special season in my life. But this...living life with my best friend and husband, being a momma and pouring all the energy and patience that I have into our 3 little ones is what I was created for.

As quickly as the college memories came they went and I had a new perspective on the beautiful day in front of me. This is what I longed for during those years spent apart from Billy - to simply walk hand in hand with him and not have to say goodbye at the end of the day. To someday have a family and experience a love like no other. With this fresh insight at the front of my mind our family day seemed to explode into a thousand beautiful little moments that I wanted to hold onto forever.

 My heart smiled as I watched Ella take care of Kelissa and hold her little hand no matter where they went.

 It stood still as I watched Will enter the grotto to light a candle with the reverence of a grown man.

It skipped a beat when my little Mason whispered, "I love you SO SO SO much Mommy" as I was carrying him across campus.

Simple moments...that to this momma who is such a work in progress were beautiful little gifts to my heart.

This is what I was created for... these days of dishes and laundry and errands. To those who may be like me and struggling with finding the purpose in the midst of the chaos my prayer is that you will be blessed with a fresh perspective today - even if just for a moment.

A moment where the mundane becomes beautiful - a moment where your heart swells and you feel fully alive.

A moment where you know this is what you were created for.

a rock collection

Life as a momma of 3 is full of moments. Crazy moments, funny moments, stressful moments and my favorite - those special moments when you wish you could freeze time and remember that exact moment forever. A few years ago we started a rock collection with our family. Our daughter Ella had begun collecting rocks and I was finding them all over the house. I decided to put some purpose to the madness and asked her if she could remember where the rocks were from. If she did she could write the name of the location on the rock with a sharpie and save it in a jar. I thought I was simply "organizing" her collection - she turned it into a beautiful tradition.

On our next outing she instinctively grabbed a rock to take home. When we got home she handed me the warm rock that she had been tightly holding the whole ride home and said, "Here mommy, I wanna save this rock because it reminds me of my special date with you today". That was a "wanna freeze time" moment, and I realized that she had been grabbing random rocks from what I thought were random places not just for the sake of filling her pockets but as tangible reminders of moments. Pretty sure it was in that exact moment my heart both melted and I realised that my little girl is already wise beyond her years.

We now have 3 mason jars that house the kids "rock collection" of memories. We're mastering the art of finding "that perfect stone". For Ella it has a shimmer of pink in it somewhere, for Mason the bigger the better, and for Will it's all about logic - where will he write the memory on it? Whenever the kids add to our rock collection we write the date on one side and the memory on the other...they say everything from "Mexico 2011" to "date with daddy" on them. Little tangible reminders of beautiful moments.

1. I love seeing their little jars fill up with rocks - in one way it's a visual of beautiful moments we're creating as a family. However, I am also keenly aware that it's also a visual of half full jars. Jars that only hold so much space. Space that I equate to time with my little blessings. I get one shot at filling their little lives with special moments. Moments where they feel loved, cherished, valued, and safe. Seeing their mason jars is a constant reminder to me to make my time with them count....the jars are a beautiful reminder of the past and a constant reminder to make the most of each day....thus begins my bloggin journey into putting words and pictures to these random, but beautiful moments that I never want to forget...welcome to my world.