the stuff dreams are made of

Every June my husbands company, Edward Jones Investments, sends our family to a regional meeting somewhere within driving distance. It's always a great chance to make fun family memories, practice our "best manners" at nice hotels and fancy dinners and usually explore something new. This year the meeting was in Indianapolis -and boy did we wear that town out!!

On our drive down Billy asked me to call and see if I could arrange a group tour for some Edward Jones families to tour Lucas Oil Stadium - the home of the Colts, the NFL team my boys are currently in love with. In typical "me" fashion I decided to bypass the online tour form request and call the stadium directly. It couldn't hurt right? I was blessed to have a super friendly girl answer the phone and she put me right thru to someone who was able to arrange a tour for 50 people the next afternoon! My boys were so excited!!!

 We were in for such a treat...

We started the day off visiting the Indianapolis Colts Grille...it's hard to tell from this picture, but Mason is excited. :)

Once we made it to the stadium even I began to think it was cool! :) Will's eyes were wide from the moment we stepped inside. He'd only seen the Colts Stadium on TV before...now he was breathing the same air that Peyton had!

The view from the press box was amazing - our tour guide said that during the games all you hear up here is the clicking of computer keys. Funny to think that some of the best seats in the house are filled with people who don't even cheer.

We stopped to take a picture of the Colt's locker room not knowing that our super cool tour guide was going to let us go inside.
I could tell that Billy was starting to get excited now! :)

The boys asked THE question she must get on every tour she gives, "where was Peyton's locker?" and upon finding it my boys lost their cool. They were touching it, pretending to be getting ready before a game, talking football lingo...it was hilarious. I made them focus for a picture and Will insisted on his game face!

 They were in their element and I loved watching every second of it.

At this point it was obvious everyone was thinking the same thing....

Could we.. maybe.. perhaps.. if we're really good.. go onto the field?

I have never in my life witnessed grown men turn back into little boys so quickly as I did when she said "yes"! The adrenaline was flowing...it was game time. They were standing in the locker room, and ready to run out of the tunnel.
And run they did!!! :)

My amazing husband, being the ever prepared man that he is, had planned ahead and brought a football with us - just in case. As soon as our feet hit the turf the guys in our group were sprinting to catch the ball and racing each other up and down the field. It really was precious. There was no shame. This was a once in a lifetime moment for them to live their dream and they weren't about to let it slip away. Our tour guide probably thought she'd never get them off the field!
I honestly think even she enjoyed watching their unbridled enthusiasm.

Pretty sure I had to hold the boys feet to the ground during this shot.  They practically floated back to the hotel. For a moment they were professional football players - warming up before the fans arrived for the big game. They could taste it. Through Will's eyes this was simply a glimpse into his future - he loves football and can't imagine doing anything else someday.

For me it wasn't so much about living my dream as it was watching those I love live theirs. That's just one of the beautiful things about TRUE LOVE. True love isn't always about me. I can't think of any other way I would have rather spent the day than watching boys & Billy come alive.

 A day for the memory books for sure.

coming home

A few weeks ago I got to take these two little cuties on a trip. I felt like I was a professional courier with the most precious of cargo! Once our plane landed in San Diego these two would get to be with their daddy for the first time in weeks and more importantly their family would be whole for awhile.

Baseball has blessed them more than they ever could have imagined...but the realities of how hard it is were ever present in my mind on our traveling day. Madeline & Luke live on airplanes, out of hotels, and off the room service menu. These things are all fun when they are treats, but when they become your everyday you start to miss the basics that so many of us take for granted.

I knew they kids were beyond excited to see their daddy, but also a bit sad to be leaving the comforts of home that they cherish like many of us cherish vacation. I was totally caught off guard by what happened the next day.

I was only in town for one day before turning around and catching a flight back to Indiana. I had 3 little ones I left home with their daddy and a VBS program to race home from the airport to see. Steph and Eric were so thoughtful to plan a fun day of seeing the sights for me. We hit the Padres stadium, the famous "gas lamp district", local boutiques and a great coffee shop. Soaking up San Diego was a blast - a great change from the routines of mommahood. Then we decided to take the kids to the beach to play for an hour or so. They'd been so good all day (even with jet lag) being carted from place to place and they deserved some time to run.

Out of the car and allowed to play I watched this family truly come alive. They had been catering to me since the moment we got off the plane - when all this family really wanted to do was to "simply be" together. Hallie was asleep so I found a cozy spot in the sand to sit with her and watch the magic unfold.

The kids giggled as the cold pacific water hit their feet. They drew pictures in the sand and played chase. They let themselves go....unrestricted by time or location. 

They were together....a family...and it was priceless.

I don't think words will ever do justice to the joy I got watch them experience as they played together as a family for the first time in weeks. In that moment it didn't matter that they were thousands of miles away from home because all this family really needs to be home is each other.

When we first stepped on the beach we cautioned Luke to "be careful and not get all sandy" - we were in practical, traveling mode....

This is my sweet boy after 15 min. on the beach... living FULLY IN THE MOMENT - with all of watching in total surrender to the joy we were feeling. This moment was to good to be contained or constricted by silly rules that were torture to a little boy who LOVES getting dirty. So he rolled in the sand and we cheered him on. It was a beautiful, crazy, dirty moment and we could have cared less.



I got to watch this family get lost in the moment and it's a moment I'll remember forever.

They were together.

They were home.

my little brother

When I was 13 my little brother, Adam, and the 5th child in our family was born. I honestly wasn't too excited when my parents told me they were expecting - it was just embarrassing and weird because by then I knew exactly where babies came from. I will never forget walking into that hospital room at Memorial Hospital and seeing him laying in the warmer...and he had a shooter!! LOL! Just stating the obvious - after 4 girls this was new territory!

Life with my little brother has been different than my sisters from the start...but oh so sweet! He was a charmer from day one, and still is. He has these beautiful eyes that can still hit me straight in the heart. Growing up he was like my little side kick (I had a car seat in the backseat of my first car!). I took him to basketball games in high school, went on his field trips in elementary school when my mom couldn't make it, and took him on more than one date with Billy & I. Often I felt more like a momma to him than a sister.

I've heard people say he's been "spoiled" by having 4 others sisters who dote on him and love to compete for his affection. I personally hate the word "spoiled" unless it really applies. To me "spoiled" means rotten, no good, no longer valuable...my brother couldn't be farther than the meaning of that word.

In the last couple years I've watched him grow from a boy into a man. Physically he's now taller than Billy - love giving him a hug and feeling my head rest on his shoulder.  Kinda feels like he might be the one protecting me now. :) He's matured even more than he's physically grown. He's gone from a boy consumed with living in the moment (as we all are when we're teenagers) to a young man making choices based on how they reflect the kind of man he wants to be.I was proud of him before - always wanting to show him off and his many accomplishments - but that pales in comparison to how I feel about him now.

The day I took Adam's senior pictures I had my littlest Mason with me, and snapped this shot as Mas was getting a ride from Adam back up to the house. My boys adore Adam. They want to be just like him down to their cowboy belt buckles that he bought them last summer.

My husband & I always said that Adam would probably be one of the most influential people in our boys lives - even when Will was a baby and Adam was 10, Will copied him. I've prayed for years that my boys would have strong, Godly men in their lives that challenge them as become men. Watching Adam grow into this description has been one of the most beautiful experiences of my life.

He's a young man who knows what he believes in and isn't afraid to stand up for it. He's willing to sacrifice the "good" for the "best", the "temporary" for the "lasting". He's committed to honesty even when it's ugly. He's determined.  He loves deeply. He's a seeker of absolute truth. He's compassionate. He's this amazing balance between tender and strong. He's hilarious. He's spontaneous. He's passionate. He's courageous.

He's my little brother, who's now bigger than me....and he's my hero.
 

my own advice

So I decided to take a little of my own advice last night. It had been a long day and I was needing to feel attractive - my workout shorts and old tank top just weren't doing the trick. I decided to move dinner out to the deck and had Ella set the table with a pretty tablecloth and a candle. I changed into a casual summer dress, put on make-up & earrings and even a little perfume. Wow - I felt like a new woman! Finishing dinner prep no longer felt like a chore but rather a gift I was giving my husband who was yet to arrive. He came home to a candle lit dinner outside, soft jazz coming from my ipad and a wife excited to see him (this is SOOOOOO not our norm). After dinner we cleaned up and after putting the kids to bed I decided the special evening didn't have to end there. We open a bottle of wine, got an old quilt and headed back outside to simply be. Totally unplugged from life - just me, him and a bottle of wine (he later added a cigar - the tale-tell sign that he's relaxed). We sat and talked about random things. We laughed. We were silent. We listened to the crickets and soaked in the cool summer night. It was a little bit of heaven on this side. A gift of our time to each other....and so worth the effort it took to create.

young marrieds

When I think about what makes me feel alive, my most favorite things in life, the following come to mind: fresh flowers cut from outside, laughing with my man, a glass of wine over a long relaxing dinner at a little cafe, snugggling my little ones, walks early in the morning, rocking a baby, breathing fresh air, making something beautiful...and the list goes on.

The thing I love is that most of these things are things I can MAKE HAPPEN in my life. I can find time to snuggle with Mason and read him a story - with his little arms wrapped around my neck and his face as close as possible to mine :). I can wake up early to soak up the silence and breathe the fresh air as I walk. I can hire a babysitter and take my man on a date. I can be intentional about how I spend my days.

One of my favorite quotes is, "sometimes you gotta create what you wanna be apart of..." and for years my man & I have lived by this quote and found it to be SO true. Shortly after getting married we found ourselves without any friends in the same place in life as us. We complained about it for 2 long years and then we decided to do something about it. We decided to start a "life group" that we called "young marrieds" and we simply put a sign up sheet out at church with a note attached that read: "looking for young couples who are willing to commit to doing the hard work required to make their marriages flourish and who are looking for a community of friends to walk beside them".

I remember the fear in laying that sheet down and walking way - totally out of control over who would sign up. Instantly I was flooded with panic. What if someone I didn't click with at all signed up and I had to hang out with them? What if people thought we were stupid for even trying to start something like this? What if nobody signed up? This panic drove me to my knees, mainly for selfish reasons, but never the less I found myself praying, "Lord, bring the perfect couples to this group. Couples with whom we can be honest and real with. Couples who will challenge us. Couples we can laugh with. Couples who will challenge us in our faith. Couples who love you." Looking around the room at that first young marrieds meeting I had no idea that these young eager faces would be the ones I would "do life" with over the next 10+ years.

These young couples eager to talk about communication, intimacy, and in-laws (all things we had in common) quickly went from aquaintences to life-long friends. In the the years to come we were blessed to walk beside these couples through the death of parents, the births of many children (including a friend from this group being in on one of our births), miscarriages, the building of homes (literally helping put on roofs, frame basements, etc.) serious illnesses, affairs and recommittments to marriages. God took two young kids eager to "have friends" and blessed them with friendships that have spanned over 10 years now. Our young marrieds group will always serve as a reminder to me that "sometimes you gotta create what you wanna be apart of..." That looks different for all of us.

So often we wait for life to happen to us; waiting for others to make us happy - I just don't see that working...or at least in my experience it hasn't. Trust me I need to practice what I preach on most days. But I love that I have the power to control my attitude and the way I react to circumstances. I love that God gives us choices and a free will. I love that He loves to bless His children when we we ask. Are you waiting for life to happen or are you willing to be intentional with your life? It takes energy and some planning, but I really believe that beautiful moments are just waiting to be had when we put energy into creating them.

created for this

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This weekend we carved out some precious time for our family of 5 and decided to head to one of our favorite places for the day - Notre Dame University. Billy's sister April was home from Chicago for the day and brought her niece Kelissa with her, so together we had a crew of 7. Dressed in our best ND gear to cheer on the Irish we headed for the annual Blue Gold game where the team scrimmages against themselves in the football stadium. Perhaps this sounds silly to some, but for these faithful fans it meant chance to experience the excitement of game day at a fraction of the cost. A perfect fit for my little Irish fans!

I love the feeling of college campuses, it's like I can almost smell my own college memories in the air. Just stepping onto ND took me back to my college days... the rhythm of walking from class to class and the fresh air it provided me. The naps snuck in the middle of the day simply because I could. The late night coffee house dates with friends, and studying things I was passionate about. Because I attended a christian college (Bethel College) my college experience was also rich in time spent seeking the Lord and growing in my relationship with him. As we walked around ND's campus on a gorgeous spring day I had a moment of "I wanna go back" flood over me. It all seemed so carefree back then. I didn't worry about what I was going to make my family for dinner, the endless errands to run, or the mountain of laundry that was screaming my name. I focused on me in college. To this momma who always seems to put a bit too much on her to-do list that sounded so wonderful. I let myself get lost in that fantasy of hours upon hours of "me" time for a bit as we walked....then I felt a hand grab mine and it was my husbands. That boy who I fell in love with back in high school, and missed terribly during college, had reached over and laced his fingers between mine as we quietly walked with the kiddos running in front of us. And then it hit me. College was a special season in my life. But this...living life with my best friend and husband, being a momma and pouring all the energy and patience that I have into our 3 little ones is what I was created for.

As quickly as the college memories came they went and I had a new perspective on the beautiful day in front of me. This is what I longed for during those years spent apart from Billy - to simply walk hand in hand with him and not have to say goodbye at the end of the day. To someday have a family and experience a love like no other. With this fresh insight at the front of my mind our family day seemed to explode into a thousand beautiful little moments that I wanted to hold onto forever.

 My heart smiled as I watched Ella take care of Kelissa and hold her little hand no matter where they went.

 It stood still as I watched Will enter the grotto to light a candle with the reverence of a grown man.

It skipped a beat when my little Mason whispered, "I love you SO SO SO much Mommy" as I was carrying him across campus.

Simple moments...that to this momma who is such a work in progress were beautiful little gifts to my heart.

This is what I was created for... these days of dishes and laundry and errands. To those who may be like me and struggling with finding the purpose in the midst of the chaos my prayer is that you will be blessed with a fresh perspective today - even if just for a moment.

A moment where the mundane becomes beautiful - a moment where your heart swells and you feel fully alive.

A moment where you know this is what you were created for.

a rock collection

Life as a momma of 3 is full of moments. Crazy moments, funny moments, stressful moments and my favorite - those special moments when you wish you could freeze time and remember that exact moment forever. A few years ago we started a rock collection with our family. Our daughter Ella had begun collecting rocks and I was finding them all over the house. I decided to put some purpose to the madness and asked her if she could remember where the rocks were from. If she did she could write the name of the location on the rock with a sharpie and save it in a jar. I thought I was simply "organizing" her collection - she turned it into a beautiful tradition.

On our next outing she instinctively grabbed a rock to take home. When we got home she handed me the warm rock that she had been tightly holding the whole ride home and said, "Here mommy, I wanna save this rock because it reminds me of my special date with you today". That was a "wanna freeze time" moment, and I realized that she had been grabbing random rocks from what I thought were random places not just for the sake of filling her pockets but as tangible reminders of moments. Pretty sure it was in that exact moment my heart both melted and I realised that my little girl is already wise beyond her years.

We now have 3 mason jars that house the kids "rock collection" of memories. We're mastering the art of finding "that perfect stone". For Ella it has a shimmer of pink in it somewhere, for Mason the bigger the better, and for Will it's all about logic - where will he write the memory on it? Whenever the kids add to our rock collection we write the date on one side and the memory on the other...they say everything from "Mexico 2011" to "date with daddy" on them. Little tangible reminders of beautiful moments.

1. I love seeing their little jars fill up with rocks - in one way it's a visual of beautiful moments we're creating as a family. However, I am also keenly aware that it's also a visual of half full jars. Jars that only hold so much space. Space that I equate to time with my little blessings. I get one shot at filling their little lives with special moments. Moments where they feel loved, cherished, valued, and safe. Seeing their mason jars is a constant reminder to me to make my time with them count....the jars are a beautiful reminder of the past and a constant reminder to make the most of each day....thus begins my bloggin journey into putting words and pictures to these random, but beautiful moments that I never want to forget...welcome to my world.